Everyone knows that dolphins are douchebags; they're too cute not to be.
Now, don't get snotty, but a nose is rather important. Not only do they help our bodies direct air, deflect viruses, and even make us look a bit more attractive. Take this man, for example: He's pretty attractive, but don't get me wrong; a nose makes a big difference. Don't believe me? I warned you: See? What did I tell you? A nose makes a difference. Now you nose.
Potatoes are an excellent stress reliever. Well, for me at least. Hard enough to cause pain, soft enough not to bruise. Teaches my kids a lesson, too. Some people think I should not hit them with potatoes, so I stop.
... Then I get the Yellow Pages. Those people stopped asking me not to use the potatoes after that. |